“Yet I am not more sure that my soul lives, than I am that perverseness is one of the primitive impulses of the human heart – one of the indivisible primary faculties, or sentiments, which give direction to the character of Man” The Black Cat, Edgar Allan Poe
It’s one of those days with a slight chill in the air. One of those lazy days that are perfect for bran rusks and a cup of tea, far away from the madness that is marking second year university Wordsworth/ Blake scripts.
One of those perfect days to catch up on what is fast becoming a personal fave TV show, Killing Eve. For those of you that have been living in a Hobbit hole somewhere and have yet to come across this gem : watch it now. I’m currently on Episode 5 and it has me deeply questioning everything I thought I knew about life, about my life, about the lives of others.
In a nutshell, Killing Eve is a British drama series based on the Villanelle novels by Luke Jennings. It follows an MI5 officer as she tracks down a sociopath leaving a trail of destruction and blood behind her.
The TV series, produced by Sid Gentle Films, is utterly fascinating. It digs down deep into the kernel of our inner desires, all the things that lay repressed and haunt our lives, and the nature of obsession as liberation. Thus, it questions that age-old debate that I’ve been ruminating over : the female muse. What if the ‘muse’ need not be an object to be attained or sexualized according to standard forms? What if the muse was a spectral figure like the women in Edgar Allan Poe’s texts? You needn’t have to see or hear her but she stalks your dreams and inner recesses nonetheless…slicing and mutilating your inner corridors till the genius that exists inside is set free. A perpetual psychological fever, that only you know about, that lies hidden. Clawing through maggots and graveyard soil. Constantly on the verge of your understanding and tangibility…but barely ever there. A murderess…or a corpse…instead of ‘girlfriend’ ,’lover’, ‘mistress’, ‘one night stand’ or ‘wife’. This muse then, defies all categories, and is a special type of energy that requires an almost spiritual, psychical channeling. What is the cost for such creative impulses?
This brings me to Edgar Allan Poe. We’ve been dissecting his two short stories, The Black Cat and The Tell-Tale Heart, in class recently and it had reverberations as I watched Killing Eve. Yes, I can’t just watch a series/movie or read a book without overthinking. I call it the Gilmore curse…
Granted, Poe’s short stories aren’t for everyone. But those that find joy in-between the frenzied lines, usually find that it resonates – not with an appeal for evil or ‘perverseness’ as may be read on a surface level- but with things we wish we could say or do…things not necessarily socially acceptable, things that will end most likely with judgement and vilification. Poe himself was a deeply troubled soul, plagued by alcoholism and a life of grief and abandonment…which makes one wonder…how troubled does the mind need to be in order to achieve brilliance? Or, can it be achieved without total disintegration? Perhaps, all one needs is the mere push of a tentacle of things that rear their heads from murky depths…
…or the character of a deadly assassin smiling at you, blade in hand…to nudge you in the right direction? The character of Villanelle or Oksana in Killing Eve is a psychotic playground of trauma, desire and the ability to switch off one’s emotions. Yet the TV series manages to bring out the humane aspects of the antagonist through her curiosity and ‘affection’ for Eve, the protagonist of the story. In turn, Eve starts to realize important, enlightening, things about herself. She comes face to face with aspects of her Jungian shadow that dispel the normality of her mundane job, her easy marriage and herself as plain or unappealing; intimating that sometimes, you just need a psychopath or foe to remind you that you are indeed special.
You see…you could feel like the colorless podium upon which more tantalizing pieces of art sit. You could feel like everyone else around you are thriving with imagination and life as if they just stepped out of a television show. But if Killing Eve has taught me anything, it has taught me that sometimes the most fascinating people are keeping it all in. And all they need is an outlet.
So, if you are a writer and lack the ‘colorful’ or ‘traumatically-induced’ life that people often say makes a good writer…fear not. You just need to turn inwards, take a trip down the darkest corridor that you never even knew was there…and find your spectral lady muse. She may be devoid of blood, she may require a limb or three…but it’s a small sacrifice to pay to reach one’s creative spirit.
“It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain; but once conceived, it haunted me day and night.” The Tell-Tale Heart, Edgar Allan Poe
Video via JoBlo TV Show Trailers